TRANSACTION ANALYSIS

 

What  is  Transaction Analysis ?

 

TRANSACTION ANALYSIS ( T.A)  is a  concept  of  “ Transactions “ , how  people  interact  with  each  others  ie  which  ego  state  in me  is  talking  to  which  ego  state  in  you.  .  By  knowing   the  other  party  ego  state  you  can  adjust  yourself  up and  down  with  other  party  for  friendship  ,  romance  or  business  progress.

For  example  ,  if  you  are  a  pharmaceutical  sales man  and  want  to  sell  your  products  to  professional  clients  such  as  doctors  who  are  held  in  high  esteem  in  society  ,  sometimes  seen  as  God  like  figures  –  the  relationship  here  would  be  Child- Parent-  ie  Here  one  person  will  be  in  dependent  position  expecting  other  person  to  do  things  for  him.  We  will  discuss  what  is  Child-Parent  ego  state  below.

Why  T.A  is  connected  to  Astrology  ?

 

Astrology  is  also  a  remedial  measure.  T.A  is  also  a  remedial  measure  ( developed by Dr Eric Berne).

 

How  Astrology and  T.A  can be  used  as  a  remedial  measure ?

 

In  Astrology   you  know  in  advance  the  basic  traits  of  a  person.  For  example ,  if  a  child  is  born  with  Mercury  combusted  or  debilitated or  no planets  in Fire  Signs ,  Vanchana  Chora  Bhedi yoga etc,  such  childrens  will  be   very  nervous  , not  active, afraid of others etc.  Such  a  child  should  be  given  Positive Strokes during child  hood  by  the  parents  . This  would  help  the  child  for  better personality  and  to  overcome  bad  ego  states  .And  the  child  will become  smart  . We  will  discuss  about  strokes  below.

 

EGO  STATES  :

  • PARENT  EGO  STATE  :  They are of  two types  Nurturing Parent and Critical Parent.
  • CHILD EGO STATE : They are  of  three types Free Child, Adapted Child  and Rebellious Child.
  • ADULT EGO STATE

Please note Ego state  has  nothing to do  with biological  parent, biological child  or  biological  adult.  The  above  states are only ego states of  mind.

 

PARENT  EGO  STATE :

You  may  have  noticed  that  children  say  things  just  like  their  father or  mother  or parent like figures (  such  as  grandfather, grandmother etc). This  happens  because  the  child  lived  with  that person  so long  that  he  automatically  reproduce  certain things  that were  said  to  him.  He  will  treat  others  as  he  might  have  been  treated .  The  child  has  no  way  to   filter  or  analyse  the  date  perceived  . The   events  are  just  imposed  on  the  child.   So  it  is  called  taught concept.

Parent  Ego  state  recording  examples :

  • “ never talk to strangers”
  • “ never accept chocolate or gifts from strangers”
  • “ always say Namaste or Good morning to elders or to your teachers
  • “always chew with your mouth closed”
  • “ always say thank you as a tocken of respect when you receive something from others”
  • “look both ways before you cross the road”

Nurturing Parent includes  soft, loving and permission giving attitude.

Critical parent  includes  accepting and taking responsibility , firm decision etc.

In  selling  or  Negotiating  situation  Nurturing  Parent  would  be  negative  ,  they  tend  to  give  too  informative  to  the  customers.  For  example,  they  say  ,  this  product  cost  $5 ,  that  sku  cost  $4,  this  sku  cost $ 3  ,  please  buy my  product  , please  give  me  order etc.  So  the  customer  thinks  the  sales  man is   from  poor  company  and  less chances  for  getting  orders  .

In selling  or  negotiating  situation,  Critical  Parent  is best.  They make  firm  decision in negotiation situation.  They don’t  beg  for  order.  So  the  customer  feels  the  sales man is  from  big  company.  Not  only  that  Buyer –Seller  should  be equal  status.  For  that  purpose  Critical  Parent is  best.

 

But  Nurturing Parent  is  beneficial  for  Doctors ,  Astrologers   etc  because  to  an  astrologer  or to  a Doctor  , people  come  almost  desperate so  they have to  be  like  energy  capsules  -right @  soft loving attitude  that  itself  would heal  the patients.

Hope  readers  understood  each  ego  state  is  good  or  bad  depends  upon  the  choice/nature of  profession.

CHILD  EGO STATE:

It  represents  our  internal  reaction  and  feelings  to  external  events. It is a Felt Concept.

Adapted Child :  It  Contains  compromise,  see others  point  of  view,  polite,  reliable,  follows  procedure  and  protocol.

Free Child :  It  includes  assertiveness,  enthusiasm, finds creative  solution.

Rebellious  Child :  Refuses  to  cooperate,  challenges  clients  in an aggressive  manner.

In  business negotiation, adapted  child  might agree  too  readily , make lot discounts, sells at the lowest  price, can’t say “ No” ,  lack  assertiveness,  so  it may  not  be beneficial  for  salesmen.

Free  child will be  extremely  selfish.

Rebellious  child  refuses  to  cooperate and  challenges  clients  in an aggressive manner.

 

ADULT EGO STATE :

It  is  the  child’s  ability  to  see  what  is  different  than  what  he/she  observed (Parent ego) or  felt ( Child ego).  That is why  it  is  called  learned  concept.

For  example, “ Yes, it is really  true  ,  that  look  both  ways  when  you  cross  the  road,  said, Mr ABC  when  he  saw  his  friend  Mr XYZ  got  hurt  by  an  accident  when  he  crossed  the  road  with  out  looking  both ways.

Here Mr ABC  has  Parent Ego data in mind- “ look both ways  when you  cross the  road “.  With  the  analysis of  his  friends experience, his Adult  ego  state  concluded  that Parent  ego  state is  indeed  correct one.

How  to  tell  what  ego  state  you  are  using ?

For  this   we need  to  know  basics  about  physiognomy ,  kinesics  and  Proxemics.

Physiognomy :  This  means  facial  expressions  which are said to indicate  person’s  character . According  to Dr  Mehrabian,  when  an  individual  is  speaking  the listener  focuses  on  the  following  three types  of  communication.

Actual  words  =  7%

The  way words  are delivered ( tones, accents on certain words) = 38%

Facial  expressions = 55%

 

So it is clear  that  facial  expressions play a very important role in communication than  the actual  words  exchanged.

 

Kinesics:  This  is a  technical  word  for  body language- nodding of  head, handshakes , smiles etc.

 

Proxemics :  This  is  the  personal  space  aspect. For example  , 0-15cm  or  15-45cm  is for  close  intimate relationship ie face to face  contact  with  close  friends but  commonly for lovers and physical  touching  relationship.  45-120cm – is for family and close friends. 1.2-3.6m is for business. So  when  you go  for  a business negotiation  use  1.2 to  3.6m  distance between you and  client.

 

If  Tone  of  voice  is  soft  = Nurturing  parent.

If  Tone of  voice  is  harsh =  Critical  parent.

Even  and  clear  tone  of  voice  = Adult.

Cheerful  and  emotional =  Free Child.

Saying   just  what  is  expected  to  say  = Adapted child.

Always  says No  , or No smile = Rebellious  child.
Parent  gestures = warning, wagging finger etc.

Adult gestures= thoughtful expression, nodding head.

Child gestures= Jumping up and down.

 

Different  types  of  Transactions :

 

Transactions are divided in to “ Straight Transactions “  and “ Crossed Transactions”

 

ADULT- ADULT :

Diagram 1

Diagram 1

 

The  simplest  transactions  are  Adult-Adult.  We  will explain what is Adult-Adult  as  follows . For example, you always go to eat Fried Rice to a Restaurant by 1pm every day. When  the waiter of the restaurant sees you, based upon the  adult date ego state before him , his adult ego state decides that you need fried rice. You are here providing a transaction stimulus to the waiter, The waiter looks at your face and based upon previous  experience  concludes  that  the fried  rice is  needed. The waiter  then offers  a plate  of  Fried Rice to you.

 

 

CHILD- PARENT  :

Diagram-2

Diagram 2

The another  type  of  transaction is  Child –Parent. For  example,  a begger  asks  for  a glass  of  water  to  you  and  you  bring  it.  In  this  ,  the  child  ego  state  of  the  beggar   directs  a  transaction  stimulus  to  the  parent  ego  state  of  you.  The  Parent  of  you  acknowledges  this  stimuli  and  then  gives  the  water  to  the  begger.  The  begger’s  request  is  the  stimuli  and  you  providing  the  glass of  water  is  the  response. Here  one  person  will  be  dependent  position  expecting  other  person  to  control  and do  things  for  him.

 

Diagram 3.

Diagram 3

 

 

 

PARENT- CHILD :

Diagram -4

diagram 4

Here  one  person  is  authoritative and  directing. This  often  occurs  between  Managers  and  subordinates.

 

Eg :

Parent :  You  have  to  go  to  the bed  right  now.

Child :  Please…Can’t  I  just  finish  this.

 

All the  above  mentioned  Transactions  are  “  Straight  Transactions “  . The  arrows  are  straight or Parallel.  In  straight  transations,. Communication can continue  indefinitely.

 

Now  we  will discuss what are  “ Crossed  Transactions “. In crossed  Transactions  communication breaks  down,

 

Eg :  Diagram 5

Diagram 5

 

Adult  :  Can  you  tell  me  what  time  it  is  ?

Adapted Child  :  Why  you  are  always  rushing me ?

 

Here  the  respondent  comes  from  a child  ego  state  thereby  crossing  the  transaction.

 

Eg 2 : Diagram 6

Diagram 6

Adult :  Can  you  tell  me  what  time  it  is  ?

Critical  Parent  :  You  are  always  late,  any  way  why  would  you  even  care ?

 

Here the  respondent  comes  from  critical parent ego  state  to cross  the  transaction and  this  communication breaks down.

 

When we learn  to  recognize  and  differentiate  between  straight  and  crossed  transactions  we increase  our  ability  to  communicate  easily  with others.

 

Communications  made  up  of  straight  transactions  are more  emotionally  satisfying  and  productive  than  conversation  that  have  frequently  crossed  Transaction

 

STROKE.

A  STROKE  can  be  a look  ,  a  nod,  a  smile  ,  a  spoken  word  or  a  touch.  Any  time  one  human  being  does  something  to  recognize  another  human  being  is  a  Stroke.

 

There  are  Positive  Strokes, Negative Strokes,  Unconditional  Positive Strokes, Conditional  Positive  strokes, Unconditional Negative Strokes, Conditional Negative strokes etc.

 

In T.A  ,  about  strokes,  it  is  found  that  Adults  also need  strokes  just  like  infants. When  an  infant  needs  cuddling,  adult  craves  a  smile, wink , a  hand gesture  or  other  form  of  recognition. Dr  Brene  defined  the  term  “ Recognition –hunger “  for  the  requirement of  adults to  receive  strokes.

 

“Subscribe “  buttons   or  “like me”  pages  in websites etc are all inviting your positive stroke.  So you subscribe a  channel  or  give a like to page in website, you are giving the other party the positive stroke.

 

We  always  like  to  hear  “  I love  you “  ( positive stroke)  than “ I hate you “ ( negative stroke).

 

If you are walking  in front  of  your  house  and  see your neighbour,  you will  likely  smile  and  say “  Hi “.  Your  neighbour  will  likely  say “  Hello “ back.  This  is  an  example  of  a  positive  stroke.

 

Suppose  you  saw  your  friend  walking in  front  of  your  house,  you  will  likely  smile  and  say  “  Hi “. But  if  your  friend  frown  at  you,  this  would  exemplify  negative  stroke.

 

In case of  children  ,  if  they  are not  able  to  get  positive  strokes  they  will  make  their  best  effort  to  get  the  negative  one,  since  negative  strokes  are  better  than  no  strokes  at all.  This  is  the reason  that  some  people  grow  up  being  more  comfortable  with  negative  stroking patterns.

 

Strokes  can  be  Unconditional  type  or   Conditional  type.  Infants  or  Adults  always  need  Unconditional  Positive  Stroke.  For  example, when  you  say  some  one  “  I love  you  honey “  It is  unconditional  positive  stroke.

Other examples,

 

“ You are  so  cute  “  (  Unconditional  Positive  Stroke)

But if  you say,  you  are  so  cute  in Jeans and T shirt ( It is then Conditional positive Stroke). That means  in Conditional  stroke  is based on a condition.

 

“ I like  you  very  much  “  (  Unconditional  Positive  Stroke)

“ I love you “ ( Unconditional  Positive stroke)

“ You are my best friend “ ( Unconditional Positive Stroke).

“ I like your  hair style “ ( It is Conditional Positive Stroke)

“ I like your Car very much “ ( Unconditional Positive Stroke).

“ I like the color of your car very much ( Conditional Positive Stroke.)

 

 

If  you sing well or  get  good marks or do a good deed, or some one appreciates you for your write up blog or facebook page or subscribe your channel, they are giving you a  Conditional Positive Stroke.

 

There are also Unconditional  Negative Stroke and Conditional Negative Strokes.  Unconditional  negative strokes are very harmful than Conditional Negative Strokes.

For example,  When you say  “I hate you” ( It is Unconditional Negative Stroke) .  On the other hand when you say “ I hate when you tell like that “ (It is  Conditional Negative Stroke).

The Negative impact of Conditional Negative Stroke is limited than the Unconditional Negative stroke.

 

 

Only  those  who  have  healthy  life  position  can  appreciate  and send  positive strokes to others.

There are 4 Basic life  position out of which  only  the last one is  considered  healthy  life position.

 

For example.,  if  you work  in a  big  organization  , suppose  you receive a complaint  from your customer, you may find, say  Marketing department blaming Production department,  and production department blames with Purchase department and Purchase manager blames Finance department etc. But no body  will take  the risk of accepting the complaint  and  to take  preventive and corrective actions. Managers  go on complaining each  other. The healthy position is and the mind set should be “ It is no one’s fault, blame, that is not the issue- what matters is how we go forward and sort it out “( I am OK and You are Ok- Happy )

 

The 4 basic life positions are

 

  • I am to blame (  You are OK, I am not OK- Helpless )
  • You are to blame ( I am OK, You are not OK- Angry)
  • We are both to blame ( I am not OK, you are not OK- Hopeless)
  • I am OK, You are OK ( Happy)

 

Most babies are born in the position of feeling Ok about themselves and Ok about others. If the child is treated badly or abused, they move to the position of I am OK, you are not OK, I am not OK, you are OK and sometimes even to I am not OK, You are not OK.

 

 

T.A  analysis  can help  you  in every situation because it helps you to know  what ego state to adopt , what signals to send and where to send.

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This article is Dedicated to my beloved parents Late R Uthamakumar  Shenoi and Ms Premila who have made me what I am today.

Disclaimer: All information and results stated in this website are for information purposes only. The information is not specific medical advice for any individual. The content of this website should not substitute medical advice from a health professional. If you have a health problem, speak to your doctor or a health professional immediately about your condition.

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UMESHKUMAR.U
U.UMESHKUMAR , N.D . I am a Naturopath, Vedic astrologer and Export Marketing Manager. I am currently working in an export industry. Besides this full time career, I am writing articles on health and astrology. Check out more of my work on www.umeshkumar.net. You can reach me at umesh@umeshkumar.net or ukshenoi@gmail.com

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