What is Transaction Analysis ?
TRANSACTION ANALYSIS ( T.A) is a concept of “ Transactions “ , how people interact with each others ie which ego state in me is talking to which ego state in you. . By knowing the other party ego state you can adjust yourself up and down with other party for friendship , romance or business progress.
For example , if you are a pharmaceutical sales man and want to sell your products to professional clients such as doctors who are held in high esteem in society , sometimes seen as God like figures – the relationship here would be Child- Parent- ie Here one person will be in dependent position expecting other person to do things for him. We will discuss what is Child-Parent ego state below.
Why T.A is connected to Astrology ?
Astrology is also a remedial measure. T.A is also a remedial measure ( developed by Dr Eric Berne).
How Astrology and T.A can be used as a remedial measure ?
In Astrology you know in advance the basic traits of a person. For example , if a child is born with Mercury combusted or debilitated or no planets in Fire Signs , Vanchana Chora Bhedi yoga etc, such childrens will be very nervous , not active, afraid of others etc. Such a child should be given Positive Strokes during child hood by the parents . This would help the child for better personality and to overcome bad ego states .And the child will become smart . We will discuss about strokes below.
EGO STATES :
- PARENT EGO STATE : They are of two types Nurturing Parent and Critical Parent.
- CHILD EGO STATE : They are of three types Free Child, Adapted Child and Rebellious Child.
- ADULT EGO STATE
Please note Ego state has nothing to do with biological parent, biological child or biological adult. The above states are only ego states of mind.
PARENT EGO STATE :
You may have noticed that children say things just like their father or mother or parent like figures ( such as grandfather, grandmother etc). This happens because the child lived with that person so long that he automatically reproduce certain things that were said to him. He will treat others as he might have been treated . The child has no way to filter or analyse the date perceived . The events are just imposed on the child. So it is called taught concept.
Parent Ego state recording examples :
- “ never talk to strangers”
- “ never accept chocolate or gifts from strangers”
- “ always say Namaste or Good morning to elders or to your teachers
- “always chew with your mouth closed”
- “ always say thank you as a tocken of respect when you receive something from others”
- “look both ways before you cross the road”
Nurturing Parent includes soft, loving and permission giving attitude.
Critical parent includes accepting and taking responsibility , firm decision etc.
In selling or Negotiating situation Nurturing Parent would be negative , they tend to give too informative to the customers. For example, they say , this product cost $5 , that sku cost $4, this sku cost $ 3 , please buy my product , please give me order etc. So the customer thinks the sales man is from poor company and less chances for getting orders .
In selling or negotiating situation, Critical Parent is best. They make firm decision in negotiation situation. They don’t beg for order. So the customer feels the sales man is from big company. Not only that Buyer –Seller should be equal status. For that purpose Critical Parent is best.
But Nurturing Parent is beneficial for Doctors , Astrologers etc because to an astrologer or to a Doctor , people come almost desperate so they have to be like energy capsules -right @ soft loving attitude that itself would heal the patients.
Hope readers understood each ego state is good or bad depends upon the choice/nature of profession.
CHILD EGO STATE:
It represents our internal reaction and feelings to external events. It is a Felt Concept.
Adapted Child : It Contains compromise, see others point of view, polite, reliable, follows procedure and protocol.
Free Child : It includes assertiveness, enthusiasm, finds creative solution.
Rebellious Child : Refuses to cooperate, challenges clients in an aggressive manner.
In business negotiation, adapted child might agree too readily , make lot discounts, sells at the lowest price, can’t say “ No” , lack assertiveness, so it may not be beneficial for salesmen.
Free child will be extremely selfish.
Rebellious child refuses to cooperate and challenges clients in an aggressive manner.
ADULT EGO STATE :
It is the child’s ability to see what is different than what he/she observed (Parent ego) or felt ( Child ego). That is why it is called learned concept.
For example, “ Yes, it is really true , that look both ways when you cross the road, said, Mr ABC when he saw his friend Mr XYZ got hurt by an accident when he crossed the road with out looking both ways.
Here Mr ABC has Parent Ego data in mind- “ look both ways when you cross the road “. With the analysis of his friends experience, his Adult ego state concluded that Parent ego state is indeed correct one.
How to tell what ego state you are using ?
For this we need to know basics about physiognomy , kinesics and Proxemics.
Physiognomy : This means facial expressions which are said to indicate person’s character . According to Dr Mehrabian, when an individual is speaking the listener focuses on the following three types of communication.
Actual words = 7%
The way words are delivered ( tones, accents on certain words) = 38%
Facial expressions = 55%
So it is clear that facial expressions play a very important role in communication than the actual words exchanged.
Kinesics: This is a technical word for body language- nodding of head, handshakes , smiles etc.
Proxemics : This is the personal space aspect. For example , 0-15cm or 15-45cm is for close intimate relationship ie face to face contact with close friends but commonly for lovers and physical touching relationship. 45-120cm – is for family and close friends. 1.2-3.6m is for business. So when you go for a business negotiation use 1.2 to 3.6m distance between you and client.
If Tone of voice is soft = Nurturing parent.
If Tone of voice is harsh = Critical parent.
Even and clear tone of voice = Adult.
Cheerful and emotional = Free Child.
Saying just what is expected to say = Adapted child.
Always says No , or No smile = Rebellious child.
Parent gestures = warning, wagging finger etc.
Adult gestures= thoughtful expression, nodding head.
Child gestures= Jumping up and down.
Different types of Transactions :
Transactions are divided in to “ Straight Transactions “ and “ Crossed Transactions”
ADULT- ADULT :
The simplest transactions are Adult-Adult. We will explain what is Adult-Adult as follows . For example, you always go to eat Fried Rice to a Restaurant by 1pm every day. When the waiter of the restaurant sees you, based upon the adult date ego state before him , his adult ego state decides that you need fried rice. You are here providing a transaction stimulus to the waiter, The waiter looks at your face and based upon previous experience concludes that the fried rice is needed. The waiter then offers a plate of Fried Rice to you.
CHILD- PARENT :
The another type of transaction is Child –Parent. For example, a begger asks for a glass of water to you and you bring it. In this , the child ego state of the beggar directs a transaction stimulus to the parent ego state of you. The Parent of you acknowledges this stimuli and then gives the water to the begger. The begger’s request is the stimuli and you providing the glass of water is the response. Here one person will be dependent position expecting other person to control and do things for him.
PARENT- CHILD :
Here one person is authoritative and directing. This often occurs between Managers and subordinates.
Parent : You have to go to the bed right now.
Child : Please…Can’t I just finish this.
All the above mentioned Transactions are “ Straight Transactions “ . The arrows are straight or Parallel. In straight transations,. Communication can continue indefinitely.
Now we will discuss what are “ Crossed Transactions “. In crossed Transactions communication breaks down,
Eg : Diagram 5
Adult : Can you tell me what time it is ?
Adapted Child : Why you are always rushing me ?
Here the respondent comes from a child ego state thereby crossing the transaction.
Eg 2 : Diagram 6
Adult : Can you tell me what time it is ?
Critical Parent : You are always late, any way why would you even care ?
Here the respondent comes from critical parent ego state to cross the transaction and this communication breaks down.
When we learn to recognize and differentiate between straight and crossed transactions we increase our ability to communicate easily with others.
Communications made up of straight transactions are more emotionally satisfying and productive than conversation that have frequently crossed Transaction
A STROKE can be a look , a nod, a smile , a spoken word or a touch. Any time one human being does something to recognize another human being is a Stroke.
There are Positive Strokes, Negative Strokes, Unconditional Positive Strokes, Conditional Positive strokes, Unconditional Negative Strokes, Conditional Negative strokes etc.
In T.A , about strokes, it is found that Adults also need strokes just like infants. When an infant needs cuddling, adult craves a smile, wink , a hand gesture or other form of recognition. Dr Brene defined the term “ Recognition –hunger “ for the requirement of adults to receive strokes.
“Subscribe “ buttons or “like me” pages in websites etc are all inviting your positive stroke. So you subscribe a channel or give a like to page in website, you are giving the other party the positive stroke.
We always like to hear “ I love you “ ( positive stroke) than “ I hate you “ ( negative stroke).
If you are walking in front of your house and see your neighbour, you will likely smile and say “ Hi “. Your neighbour will likely say “ Hello “ back. This is an example of a positive stroke.
Suppose you saw your friend walking in front of your house, you will likely smile and say “ Hi “. But if your friend frown at you, this would exemplify negative stroke.
In case of children , if they are not able to get positive strokes they will make their best effort to get the negative one, since negative strokes are better than no strokes at all. This is the reason that some people grow up being more comfortable with negative stroking patterns.
Strokes can be Unconditional type or Conditional type. Infants or Adults always need Unconditional Positive Stroke. For example, when you say some one “ I love you honey “ It is unconditional positive stroke.
“ You are so cute “ ( Unconditional Positive Stroke)
But if you say, you are so cute in Jeans and T shirt ( It is then Conditional positive Stroke). That means in Conditional stroke is based on a condition.
“ I like you very much “ ( Unconditional Positive Stroke)
“ I love you “ ( Unconditional Positive stroke)
“ You are my best friend “ ( Unconditional Positive Stroke).
“ I like your hair style “ ( It is Conditional Positive Stroke)
“ I like your Car very much “ ( Unconditional Positive Stroke).
“ I like the color of your car very much ( Conditional Positive Stroke.)
If you sing well or get good marks or do a good deed, or some one appreciates you for your write up blog or facebook page or subscribe your channel, they are giving you a Conditional Positive Stroke.
There are also Unconditional Negative Stroke and Conditional Negative Strokes. Unconditional negative strokes are very harmful than Conditional Negative Strokes.
For example, When you say “I hate you” ( It is Unconditional Negative Stroke) . On the other hand when you say “ I hate when you tell like that “ (It is Conditional Negative Stroke).
The Negative impact of Conditional Negative Stroke is limited than the Unconditional Negative stroke.
Only those who have healthy life position can appreciate and send positive strokes to others.
There are 4 Basic life position out of which only the last one is considered healthy life position.
For example., if you work in a big organization , suppose you receive a complaint from your customer, you may find, say Marketing department blaming Production department, and production department blames with Purchase department and Purchase manager blames Finance department etc. But no body will take the risk of accepting the complaint and to take preventive and corrective actions. Managers go on complaining each other. The healthy position is and the mind set should be “ It is no one’s fault, blame, that is not the issue- what matters is how we go forward and sort it out “( I am OK and You are Ok- Happy )
The 4 basic life positions are
- I am to blame ( You are OK, I am not OK- Helpless )
- You are to blame ( I am OK, You are not OK- Angry)
- We are both to blame ( I am not OK, you are not OK- Hopeless)
- I am OK, You are OK ( Happy)
Most babies are born in the position of feeling Ok about themselves and Ok about others. If the child is treated badly or abused, they move to the position of I am OK, you are not OK, I am not OK, you are OK and sometimes even to I am not OK, You are not OK.
T.A analysis can help you in every situation because it helps you to know what ego state to adopt , what signals to send and where to send.
This article is Dedicated to my beloved parents Late R Uthamakumar Shenoi and Ms Premila who have made me what I am today.
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